On Being Important

On daf 3a there is a discussion about two positions, one of a R. Yehoshua and the other of a ben Baterya. Neither of seems to jibe well with other positions of the R. Yehoshua of our Mishnah in the first case or Yehudah ben Beterya in the second. The solution comes from R. Nahman b. Yitzak who claims that both sayings are froma sage named R. Yehoshua ben Beterya, who, according to this solution was sometimes called by his father's name, and sometimes by his own name. At that point R. Nahman (or the Stamm) go on to explain that the sage was called by his father's name before his smicha and by his own name after.

Rashi, in his comment, adds a reason for this switch, and it seems intuitively plausible, though it struck me as interesting: "he was not important [before smicha] and they called him by his father's name, and calling him by his own name, R. Yehoshua, was after his smicha."

I ask myself often if I feel that some fundamnetal thing has been altered about me since achieving the title rabbi. Certainly some people respond differently (although that started, to some extent, in rabbinical school) and I find myself speaking with somewhat more confidence on some issues. I use the title on the phone sometimes, and I can tell it's getting me traction where otherwise I would have none.

Or: does the name switch that R. Nahman posits have nothing to do with importance, as Rashi would have it, and is perhaps makes a more fundamental point that when you become a rabbi, some piece of you ceases to exist? You can't just be "ben Beterya" any more, even if you want to, because people want you to be Rabbi Yehoshua.

When Dr. Eisen was at camp a couple of weeks ago he said something interesting on this point that I've been thinking about. Someone asked him a question and his response essentially was: "Look I have personal feelings about that, but one thing I have learned is that the guy Arnie has ceased to exist, and when I speak now, I speak as Chancellor Eisen. And for that reason I am careful about what I say, and about expressing my own personal opinions in some cases."

I wonder if any of us feel that way. In our public lives at least, has there been a sense that who we were before becoming "official" is harder or impossible to access in our professional lives?