30a: Objective or subjective mourning

The disagreement between the Tanna kama (R' Meir) and R' Shimon ben Gamliel (Hakhanim later) is essentially about whether there should be an objective standard for mourning practices (ie no meat or wine consumption) or should there be a subjective standard (consume half of what you normally do). Is it better to standardize a practice for a community to really share in something together? Or to leave it up to each person to judge what kind of a pre-9 Av meal would set the mood for them? Our tradition clearly has sided with Rabbi Meir here, as meat and wine are not consumed either the week of or the 9 days before 9 Av (see previous post). In general it seems that, up until recently, Judaism has (consciously or unconsciously) sided with the we're all in this together practice.

Do we lose communal unity by diversifying our practices? Or should people be left on their own to decide what sets the 9 Av mood for them? Questions that can be applied widely...